I hear the clock...

I just got the last of the kids off to school and I'm sitting here enjoying some time on my laptop (most certainly on Pinterest.com). It's weird to only hear the clock ticking...blissful and bittersweet at the same time. At the same moment that I realize all I can hear is the clock, I look across my uncleaned counter top and I am struck by the items sitting there and how much they tell about my life at this moment (well, parts of it). I know this little vignette is important and I grab my camera and take a picture exactly how it is.  My eye first goes to "Ping Ping," Andrew's beloved penguin that he still loves. He may be twelve years old, but that tattered penguin is still special to him. My eye quickly goes to the other items: 1- Pokemon cards from yesterday's hangout with friends (Sarah and Andrew hanging out with Stuart and Danny M.) 2- Piano books from yesterdays lessons (of course they aren't put away yet) 3- Jenna's homework packet for the week (She is making big strides in school...yay!) 4- Remnants of a Diet Coke (Yes, I had one for breakfast-gasp, with left over chicken and rice no less. I am not a breakfast person...give me some real food in the morning. And for the record, having Diet Coke for breakfast is not a habit for me.) 5- Note pad and pen (I just wrote a note to Jenna's teacher about volunteering.) 5- The tiny piece of pink paper that Jenna did her spelling words on. (too funny)

It's really kind of strange to find myself at this place in life. No kids at home during the day, diaper changes are a distant memory, no mid-day pick-ups from preschool or kindergarten, no more story time (Who am I kidding, I pretty much only did that w/ Josh and Andrew!), no more co-op shifts. That chapter has come to an end. Yes, my house will stay cleaner...until 3:30 at least. I know this moment of realization is only preparing me for when there won't be that 3:30 break in silence....only an empty nest to host visits from it's previous dwellers. Sometimes we get so tired and weary from the daily grind and we wish it away and then when it's almost gone we realize what we had; the good and the bad we are leaving behind...the good and the bad that lies ahead. Blissful? Sure, who doesn't enjoy some quiet, me-time and cleanliness? Bittersweet? Yes, and it stings bad. And I cry...all because of a mess on my counter top.  All I can do is clean up the counter top and let the clock keep ticking. Because it will.