What have I been doing

I think sometimes stress can manifest itself in different ways...like the previous post. ;) The last couple weeks have felt really busy. Giving two baby showers, decorating chairperson for the stake women's conference(decorating 30+ tables on a tight budget), birthdays, race training, scouting (Good job Andrew on your Arrow of Light), 3rd grade art show (Good job Sarah on having your work choosen for display), reupholstering my couch (with help I might add) and a "rockin" ward talent show (go Chad!). Here are just few pictures to illustrate.

Amazing

Yesterday morning, I had my recommend renewal appointment with a counselor in the stake presidency. After a little chatting, we began the formal interview with a prayer. After the prayer, he paused and said, "I have the impression to tell you that you are a great mom." Given my recent feelings (as noted in the last post), this was an amazing tender mercy from my Heavenly Father.  This was an incredible confirmation that He knows me personally and loves me. This unexpected affirmation of love is one I know I will heavily rely on in the coming months and for that I am so grateful.

A grand experience...

Grandma Chris wanted to do something special with Sarah for her 9th birthday. She made reservations for High Tea at the Grand America hotel. We were seated in a beautifully decorated lobby complete with crystal chandeliers and a harpist. The hors d'oeuvres and specialty hot chocolates were delicious. However, it was the "tea flower" that stole the show. Upon our arrival, our waitress placed a small bundle in a tall, stemmed glass. After a few minutes, we saw the hot water do it's magic. It opened up revealing a beautiful flower. It was so fun to watch. After our "tea" we wandered around the hotel enjoying the paintings, antiques and beautiful furniture. Sarah even got to watch a bride in the courtyard. What a special and indulegent afternoon indeed...thank you Grandma Chris!

Feeling incompetent. Feeling stressed. Feeling blessed.

So I haven't been blogging much lately...not sure that anyone has noticed. Sometimes my mind gets much too jumbled with all the things I have to do, all the things I should do and all the things I want to do. I hate feeling this way and when I do, my weaknesses really seem to look me right in the face. Lately, I've been feeling the pressures of motherhood wearing me down.

I worry that I my preschooler won't willingly tell me letters, let alone be reading by the time kindergarten starts. Why are so many other kids reading when they reach kindergarten?? I worry that I haven't found the perfect childhood hobby for my kids. Since when did our children need a childhood career? Seriously, sometimes I feel like if you haven't found your child's "chosen hobby" by the time they are eight, it's too late. Things are getting way too intense and competitive if you ask me. I worry that my older kids don't know all the Articles of Faith and that my youngest doesn't like to pray. I worry that my house isn't as clean and organized as it should be. I worry that I don't scrapbook anymore and my youngest one wonders where all her pictures are. I worry that I'm not enjoying motherhood enough and this time really is going to be over before I know it.

And then I take a deep breath.

I feel blessed.

I know everything will work itself out. It has to. I wasn't reading when I started kindergarten and somehow I managed to graduate from college. I trust that my kids will find something they are passionate about...even if they aren't on a competitive team or the most coordinated one in dance class. I know my kids are absorbing more of the gospel than I ever did at their age and I even passed off my Articles of Faith. Somedays I get my house clean and the laundry done...a lot of days I don't. I know my kids know I love them...regardless of the number of scrapbook pages each of them have (or don't have). I know this mothering part of life will be over before I know it, but I know that motherhood never ends. However, I am trying harder to hug them a little more, look into their eyes more deeply and listen more intently and get angry a little less. And I when I fail, I just try again.

Is a 5yr old still considered a toddler?

Because Jenna, really, really still seems like a baby to me! Today Jenna turned FIVE. My baby is five years old. I could go on and on about how it doesn't seem possible, but I won't. This was a fun birthday for Jenna...it's the first year that she has really anticpated her birthday (for about 3 weeks now!). She woke up this morning to the traditional signs on the door and a waffle breakfast served on the "special" plate. I decided to spend the day savoring this time with my "baby." We read books, did puzzles and baked her cake together. She is really into puzzles and helping my bake right now...I love that. Later, she had her gymnastics class and today was family day. The g'parents met us at the gym to watch her show off her stuff. After, we headed home for dinner, presents and cake. I'd say all in all, Jenna had a wonderful day!